My name is Tammi and I am here to make a difference!! I am a physical and verbal abuse survivor, and I AM going to change the world.
Being a domestic violence survivor has had its many challenges. I have had to learn that I am a valuable person again and that not everyone is out to hurt me. I was in a very verbally and physically abusive relationship that rocked my very soul. I was always too fat, too thin, too lazy or a whole laundry list of other things that were “wrong” with me. In my relationship we had both suffered forms of abuse in our childhoods. I was physically attacked and raped by my spouse, he also threatened to end my life as well as his, I knew how to push his buttons and he knew how to push mine. After many years of being told that I couldn’t make it on my own, and as I watched firsthand the physical and mental abuse escalating to what I knew would one day end in death to one or both of us, I packed up my kids and we left. We went through many more episodes until it finally ended.
I have had to retrain my brain, to think normally instead of thinking strategically. I no longer have to fear that my words or actions are going to cause me physical or emotional pain. I do however still have scars internally that will take time to heal completely. Until recently I used to check the windows every night, and lock my car at least 2 times to make sure “he” can’t get to me. My fear was still real and I was running on adrenaline every day. I had completely lost control of my life and I felt lost and scared. I understand how others feel in similar situations. The one thing about my story that has not been mentioned is that this abuse did not come from one person. It was many.
My current husband is very supportive and has learned that some of my actions at night with the windows and car are just residue from my past. He has been very patient and loving, and he truly is my hero.
I have learned that even though I was in a situation that was out of control that I now know how to take my life back and share with others what I have learned. I am able to make the decisions that have turned an ugly past into something wonderful.
It has been many years since the pattern of abuse ended in my life, and I am ready to help others make a stand. I encourage you to stand with me. I have created a clothing line that gives hope to victims and their families. It allows each person to wear how they feel without being invasive. Everyone reads t-shirts standing in line at the grocery store. Why not make a difference by simply getting dressed? Why not make a conscious choice to choose something that has a message of hope?
It’s not just apparel, it’s also racing, rodeo, and sports where ever people play we want to to be there to reach the masses.
Almost everyone knows someone affected by child abuse, domestic violence, drug addiction, alcoholism, suicide, bullying etc.
We are giving back to our community by donations to various organizations that are in the trenches everyday and want others to do the same. Together we can make a difference.
We can look at the statistics and it will show us what many of us already know that we have a problem in this country that it is not an easy fix, but we need to remember that those statistics are people. People like you and me. Our mothers, daughters, brothers and fathers. Our friends and coworkers. When you put a human face on the statistics they become and are reality.
Each one of us is unique. We all have good days and bad days. I choose to look forward instead of backwards. I choose to move past my abuse, and look towards a brighter day ahead. I choose to put one foot in front of the other even when it seems impossible. You can do the same. It is through my brokenness that I can help others. My story is what has transformed me into the woman I have become. God has played an integral part in my healing process, and I know without him I would not be where I am today.
It starts with one voice.
Our voice is speaking without saying a word.
A Woman’s Place is a two part initiative combining story telling elements of narrative film and short documentary clips of real stories to raise awareness about domestic abuse. Below is the video Tammi shared for others.